Familiy Ministry FAQ

Family Ministry FAQ’s

We have entered into a new paradigm. Our Family Ministry Team is still learning how to work within the new model. Jerry Hamm (our Associate Minister) oversees the unit; Anissa Atwater and Annette Van Nest coordinate (ie administrate) the team. Clinton Atwater serves as the Adult Small Group Coach. We have integrated all the discipleship ministries: children, youth and adult small groups. We have had a number of questions come up and thought we would address these here first. A FMT parent meeting for parents of minor children/teens will be called for January 20 after Second service.

Below are answers to questions we feel are important to be addressed. If you have any additional questions, just write them down and give them to any of the above team members or Pastor Cindi. We will address adult ministry questions at a later time.

Question: How and why is my child being asked for their e-mail address, facebook or myspace addresses? Is it shared with other people and if so whom?

If a teacher asks for your child’s email, it is for the purpose of communicating with them outside the walls of the church. The relationships being built in the classes are deeper than just an hour a week. Most of our adult leaders desire to be mentors and supports to our children OUTSIDE the walls of the church. It is important that the church is not experienced by our children as only a Sunday thing. We do not want them compartmentalizing their faith. As children mature they need good role models and healthy Christian relationships other than just their parents to help them work through questions.

Question: If e-mail is used as a primary way of communicating what about those kids who don't have emails or the like?

When a child does not have any internet access, we will ask if the parent minds receiving emails for his/her child. If there is no internet access as a family, the church mailboxes, phone calls or regular US mail will be used.

Question: Why do you want my child’s sport schedule? Is it shared with other people and if so who?

Group life is important. All of our teachers and small group leaders are encouraged to build into their students outside the walls of the church. One way to do this is to come to one activity per semester, if at all possible. Some of our teachers and leaders are at that point in relationship; others are not. While the youth small group leaders (right now are our Senior Pastor and Associate Minister and the Mutschlers) are doing this, not all teachers or leaders are there yet. So, some of our children have not been asked yet, while others have already had their teacher/leader(s) come to events.

The schedules are NOT shared with anyone other than that teacher or group leader. And IF a parent or student does NOT want someone to come to outside events to support the child, they simply do not have to give the teacher/leader a calendar. Or can request the teacher/leader to not worry about being at outside events.

PLEASE remember, our teachers and leaders are also moms, dads and employees. They cannot be expected to be at all events – those who are willing to make the time and invest at that level will attempt to make at least one event (and it may be a school event where he/she can support several children at once) per semester.

Question: Do you want to know my child’s school lunch time?

We used to – but it is increasingly difficult to visit inside the schools. Some of the schools are now requiring Pastors and Small Group leaders to have permission slips on file in the office for particular students and to NOT visit with other students than those in their church and with permission slips. This makes the whole original idea of visiting the lunchroom kind of antiquated. It was intended to relate not only with the student but also to reach out to the students’ friends. The security mindedness of schools is comforting to us as parents but makes evangelizing tough.

We find attending ballgames or concerts a better use of our limited time. BUT if your student absolutely insists on a lunchroom visit we need a note from the parent of that student written to the school with the name of the student and the leaders (Jerry Hamm, Cindi Greene, Anissa Atwater, Annette Van Nest, Bonnie Mutschler, Steve Mutschler, Nena Schroff, Joe Schroff) in the note and given to the church class leader or group leader. HE or she will bring it to the school and put it on file. And again we are no longer as openly welcomed as we once were. We will limit lunchroom visits now to, at most, once a semester per school and then try to hit as many of our church kids ( as have given us permission) as possible.

It is sad that our society has come to this – but security is an issue for the safety of our students. And there are other ways to relate to our kids outside the walls of the church than on school campuses. So, please talk with your children about this and let us know if this is a really important passion for them. If it is we will schedule them. I

Question: Are parents welcomed at a youth activity? Why, or why not? If not then how can adults help support the youth program in other ways?

No class or gathering is “closed” to parents, however, we do not encourage parents to come to youth group or classes. Now, we are more than willing to schedule a specific time during a class or group meeting for a parent or parents to drop in perhaps during our hang-time or to observe a teaching time, if a parent really feels the need. It is not because there are any “secrets” – it is because parents’ presence changes the dynamics of the group. Many young people shut down when their parents come into the room or their parents’ friends do. We do not restrict parents from coming – we just do not encourage it.

Why? Our young people (esp. teens) are defining “self” and testing their faith for themselves. As they self-differentiate they need safe places and safe people to test, question and check who are NOT parents or even family necessarily. Our youth classes and groups are intended for that purpose. We screen all our teachers and leaders – and we trust them to be biblical, safe and of integrity. If you have any questions about what is going on in a group or class, just ask the teacher or leader and talk with your child. However, do not be shocked if your student does not come forth with a lot of information. Many young people do not want their parents knowing everything about everything in their lives. Some young people will stonewall their parent with comments like: “nothing” or “its none of your business” or “I don’t know” or “I don’t remember.” These comments are not so much the “truth” as they are subtle ways of having someplace and something that is “all theirs.” So, call the teacher or leader and ask what is being taught or what is going on. For elementary grades you can also check with Anissa Atwater or Annette Van Nest for the curriculum outlines. Or you can, for Jr high youth group (Wed nights) and Teen Gathering (Sunday nights), check the church webpage (byroncenterchurch.org) and take a look at what the study or topic has been.

Parents can best support their children/youth by praying for them and their classes, chaperoning when needed, bringing snacks to events/classes when asked. There are monthly activities for Jr and SR high and often chaperones are needed. This is a good place to get involved. But first check with the Family Ministry Team if the event is one that parents can chaperone. We really are trying to get other people in the church community to build into the kids so that the kids realize other people than just parents care about them.

There will also be administrative things that parents can help with over the year. So be looking in the newsletters and bulletins for those opportunities as well.

Question: Who is on the FMT team and who is more directly relating with my child? Do these adults have to go thru a Criminal Background Checks? If parent are involved in an activity is it an expectation that they will have to undergo a background check first?

The Family Ministry Team is composed of Pastor Cindi Greene, as the Senior Pastor; Jerry Hamm as the Associate Minister (and facilitator of the Discipleship branch), Anissa Atwater and Annette Van Nest as the Co-coordinators (i.e. administrators of the team) and Clinton Atwater as the coach of adult groups. And all teachers, small group leaders and helpers for classes

nursery – adult.

All those (parents and any adult) who are regularly involved with our minors (under 18 yrs of age) undergo a criminal background check (not just to chaperone). But if someone wants to be a small group leader or teacher, they would have to undergo background checks.

Sunday teachers, small group leaders and helpers:

Nursery: coach Pam Fennema

Toddlers- Preschool: teachers: Nena Schroff and Tina Schoeder

DK-1^st grade: Rose Kohl and Pat Thomas

2^nd-5^th grade: Barb Ford, Marty Brown, Tom Lowary, Andrea Tilstra, Harvey Beisbrock, Melanie Piper

JR/SR high school class: Bonnie and Steve Mutchler

Teen Gathering (Sunday PM): Jerry Hamm, Cindi Greene, Nena and Joe Schroff

Wednesday teachers, small group leaders and helpers:

Nursery: Coach Pam Fennema

Lead: Kat, Jordan, Abby Tucker

Toddlers-Preschool: teachers: Lori Fedewa, Lynne Harpst

DK-1^st grade: Anissa Atwater

2^nd-5^th grade: Jim and Kathy Brown through Jan. Barb Ford and Annette Van Nest (jan-May)

Jr High group: Jerry Hamm and Cindi Greene

Question: How do parents or community members communicate with the leaders of the FMT if we do have a question, idea, concern, complaint or praise?

We recommend following Matthew 18:15 if there is a problem or concern. In other-words, go directly to the person on the team you have an issue, problem or concern. Please. Our leaders want to hear from you. As we continue to grow into being a biblically functioning community, it is important we trust each other’s hearts and go to one another directly. However, IF you absolutely cannot, then go to any one of the members of the team, They will probably listen then encourage you to go to the person anyway but they will listen.

If you have a question about times, dates, administration we recommend you seek out one of the coordinators, Anissa or Annette. If you have a question about what is being taught at any level , Jerry, Anissa, Annette or the teacher of your student’s class can answer that. If you have a question or want to give a praise (always welcome) – ask any one of the team and they can point you to the person who might know the answer or will help find the answer. Our FMT is an open and approachable team. They want to help! They are passionate about not just our kids but also about each family!

Question: Is my child welcomed to bring his friends to a teaching, activity, hang-time etc? Even if they attend another church? Is that something that needs to be cleared my someone first? If so then who?

Your children are welcome to bring friends anytime – no need to clear it with anyone. The more the better!! Really, we mean it!

Question: Who do parents communicate with if their is a certain activity they think would be fun to do with the kids? IE concerts, sporting events?

Talk with Jerry, Anissa, Annette even Pastor Cindi – any one of them will bring your ideas to the team meeting. We meet every week! It is even better if you email or write down your ideas because some of us have what we term “teflon brains” and can forget a random idea just thrown out there, We want input! We desire to hear what ideas you have. Please put them in writing so we can bring them to our meeting.

Question: Is there a sign up sheet for snacks in the classrooms? If so is that something that happens thru the individual teacher of that class?

Each individual teacher is responsible for this. So, please check with your student’s teacher/group leader about that. If you are willing to coordinate that for a class or group, let the leader know. We try to empower our teachers/leaders to lead their classes and do what they believe will best encourage participation in their group. For some teachers/leaders snacks are almost a necessity due to the time or age group. For others, snacks can be a distraction or hindrance.

Question: We understand that there is confidentiality that needs to take place in groups. So what would be brought to a parent’s attention?

This remains a sticky issue – legally, any adult leader who hears of abuse (physical or sexual esp) MUST bring that to one of the Pastors’ attention. The Pastors of the church will then connect with the parent. The other place we ethically feel we must connect with a Pastor is if a child states he/she wants to do harm to themselves or someone else. Other than that, there will be no breach of confidentiality. What is said in the group, will stay in the group. IF the teacher or group leader needs guidance in how to handle a situation, he or she will seek counsel from one of the Pastors directly and immediately. Parents, it is hard to let go of our children. We know this. As they mature they need safe places to vent, to ask questions, to check out their faith and choices. Trusting our staff and leaders is a must in Christian community, We have done all we can to select who we consider to be among the best as teachers and small group leaders.

Remember, if you ever have a question ASK any one of us on the FMT lead team. We are here to serve YOU and YOUR FAMILY!

Hope this helps!

In Christ’s service,

Jerry Hamm, Associate Minister and Facilitator of Discipleship

Annette Van Nest, Annisa Atwater, Co-coordinators of Family Ministry